Heatwave

Good grief! This mighty hot summer can roast a chicken in under 10 minutes. Last I checked, I was complaining about how bitter cold winter was. Maybe I should just move to California (and I'd still find other things to complain about). Oh for the love of all things human.

Well, greetings from good ol' Oklahoma!

Yes, I've made the big move back to the middle of nowhere. All for a job offer, you see. Plus, the boyfriend and the dog too.

I've successfully graduated, painfully but yet bittersweet-ly. Yay, for a Masters degree!

Now that my full-time-paper-writing-study-cramming student life is officially over- at least for another few years while I slowly recuperate from 20 years of education- I am soon (next Monday- soon) going to start working as an Early Childhood Educator. Yeah, a brand new start to slaving myself in the workforce for the next 30 years of life! Or as the sophisticated adults would put it, "being all grown-up and responsible, moving towards financial independence". Yeah...

Anyhoo, post New-York living experience left me rather battered and exhausted, but all in a good way, because I left the city with bittersweet memories that marked parts of my growing up. On a serious note though, it was a huge blessing to be able to live in the Big Apple, even just for a year- I lived, I learned, I laughed, I cried, I stumbled, I survived, I grew to love the city I once disliked- all in His strength and power. While I'm still experiencing withdrawal symptoms from overstimulation to zero-stimulation, I've never felt this well-rested, not since I left home years ago.

Here's where I say hello to ̶s̶l̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶l̶a̶b̶o̶r̶ responsible working adulthood and good-bye to my adolescence.

New York, New York

Another blink of the eye and I'm now facing my last month in New York city. Words fail to express how grateful and blessed I am with the amazing experience of living in this great city (yes I was wrong, NYC has grown on me and I do love this city).

I did not only gain (well, its on the way) a Master's degree at beautiful Columbia University, but I have also grown as an individual. I have learned so much about me, or rather what I was made to be, and what I could be. I have learned much about life that no amount of books, articles, and lectures can teach, not even money can buy. Of course, I still have more to learn.

Ah, bittersweet memories of the apple. One more month, before this chapter in my life ends and a new one awaits!

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 1 Cor 13:12

Welcome back, Reality.

Why, HELLO, it's been awhile.

Yes, I have survived four grueling months in New York City as a graduate student- by His grace and strength, I must say.

Who knew that so much can happen in just four months?

And yet, another year has come and gone. Just reflecting back on one semester, not even the whole 12-months, makes me feel blessed just thinking about how I was spared from losing my sanity.

Faith, trust, and hope were my greatest teachers.

Another four more months before I put on that robe and mortar board again.

ps- Merry (belated) Christmas & Happy (belated) New Year.

New York says 'Hi'

It's been 10 days since I arrived and I am still counting my blessings. God has been so faithful and really, He has been my provider ever since. Long story short, I found an apartment that met all our (my roommate and I) preferences in just two days. And we got awesome furniture from our neighbor, IKEA and bedbathandbeyond at a bargain on the day we moved in. I really couldn't ask for more.

Classes began last week. I must say that I am impressed with the architecture; the prewar buildings, I don't think I'll ever get bored just marveling at them day after day. Columbia U is obviously HUGE. I spent more time hunting down classrooms than actually being in the class itself. Madness. But all's good, I'm adjusting and adapting.

The boyf has left just this morning. I feel like a part of me has left too. Nevertheless, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. So I'll be strong and conquer the city, well at least for the next 11 months because living here is ridiculous. Being me, it's almost impossible to save. I'll be a hobo when I turn grey.

Anyways. Summer is officially over. I've settled in, I've done the tourist-y thing. It's time I go kick butt.

Hello, grad school.

Goodbye, flip flops.

Yikes.

It's almost the end of summer. A well-rested and very toasty summer.

Twenty five more days and I'll be inhabiting the concrete jungle. And just when I thought I could never live in such a bustling, hectic city - I'm going to be spending a year of my life in it. Irony, much?

Despite all the madness that's about to unfold, I'll have to keep reminding myself that life is for the living. Rather than being caught in the center of a whirlpool, I think it's crucial to take a step back and remind ourselves of the purposes of our being, rather than flutter through life and then think 'geez, why have I been wasting my time on (insert activity)?'

Time won't wait.

Midnight

Death. Such a dark, dark word. Yet inevitable.

Death, can be a cruel teacher. Forcing you to accept reality when it strikes, leaving you with pain, agony, and all that often reaches the brim of human capabilities. Then it forces you to stop the fast-forward motion as it oddly places you back into perspective.

You start asking 'WHY?'

You think, you think about life and all that is worth living for; you think about eternity and the purposes of your being.

In the dark, you scramble for a shred of hope, a hint of light. When you find it, you grab for it. When you don't, you're left with a black hole.

I. I fight, I crumble, I stand, I get knocked down, and in the end, I let go... and I find myself in the embrace of the only one who saves. Life is worth the living, with him in place.

I do ...do I?

Apparently, it's the season of wedding bells. At least, that's where all the talk seems to be heading. One after another, friends are either getting engaged or are in the midst of planning for their big day. The numbers are upping.

Honestly, it's overwhelming.

Don't get me wrong, I'm absolutely happy for them - at least, those to matter to me. I'm even excited for some! At the same time, the pressure rests upon my shadows. I'm not even close to getting there yet.

Besides the fact that both the boyfriend-of-6-years and I have barely touched the first step on the career ladder and can even barely support ourselves yet; I have a whole different perspective on marriage - which many wouldn't agree. I view marriage as more than a piece of contract paper and it can't solely be based on the delusions of fantasy love. It's not something you rush into, just because everyone else is doing it; nor the fact that you just want to prove a point to somebody by getting hitched, or even just doing it for the sake of retaliation. That's just wrong.

Marriage isn't always the happy endings you get from fairy tales; it requires both effort and commitment from both partners to actually make it work. Its more than just puppy love. It's 1 Corinthians 13. You don't just get married end of story and file for divorce if it doesn't work out. Under most circumstances, divorce shouldn't even be an option.

Forgive me, if I've offended any of you, but this is just my firm set of belief.

As far as matrimony is concerned, I'm a fuddy-duddy. Which is why, whenever I'm asked 'When's your turn?' or 'Don't you think it's about time?'; time and time again, I replied, 'not anytime soon'. And that's the truth. Not until we're financially capable of supporting ourselves, and not until I grasp the true meaning of 'till death do we part'.

Well, God willing, if/when it happens, then it'll be a beach wedding with lots of sunshine and blue skies. I promise I won't be Bridezilla. ;)

Disclaimer: This post is not meant for anyone in particular. It was just a spur of the moment thought what with most of my friends preparing to tie the knot. My personal view on the subject, you don't have to agree with me. Above all, I'm sincerely happy to see a few of my close friends moving into this season - after working so hard on everything. Cheers to you, loves!